In our formative years the learning process is continual and rapid. Somewhere along the way, at first imperceptibly, learning speed slackens. It takes longer to master new dance routines or computer programs or words to a song. As decades roll by we gradually succumb to a mental malady called CRS – can’t remember shit, sometimes labeled CRAFT – can’t remember a f***** thing.
Confession: I have CRS.
Information stored in brain cells for days, months, and decades is not necessarily lost forever. Most of the time sooner or later I remember whatever data I am trying to retrieve. Just not immediately.
I would be the worst Jeopardy contestant ever. Watching the show from the comfort of my couch, I know the answer to a lot of questions, but cannot speedily transfer the information from my brain’s file cabinet to the front of my brain, then notify my hand, and finally press the response button. By then my opponents would have answered that question and a couple more. I would be a miserable failure earning $00.
Sometimes I run into a person I know I know, but my mind goes blank. Do I know the person from work? The gym? A neighbor? Former student? Repairman?…the name and the where I know that person from escapes me.
I was never great at remembering names, and have gotten worse.
I pass a few words of greeting with the familiar but forgotten individual, move on, and then – Bingo! I might recall the name and how I know that person minutes or hours later, or in the middle of the night. But it is too late. I am happy to finally remember, but embarrassed I could not say, “Hi, how have you been, (unnamed person)?” Or worse, I would be unable to introduce the person to my companion.
My Dad had a habit, when addressing one of the women in his family, of saying, “Elyss Harriet Janice Meryl” Naming his wife, sister, daughters, and maybe another woman or two of his acquaintance before identifying the right individual.
Kids remember quickly. Decades of data are not stored in layers of files scattered throughout their brains. It is effortless locating information when facts and figures are neatly stockpiled in carefully labeled brain bins. Dusty files are haphazardly strewn throughout the brains of older folks. New data intermingles with old records.
I should be happy to have a rich storehouse of material at my fingertips, or more accurately my brain cells, compiled over years. On the other hand a lot of stuff is irrelevant, taking up space and making it difficult and time consuming to locate facts and figures when needed.
There is no pill or medical fix for CRS. I can do lots of crosswords and Sudoku puzzles, eat brain-enriching foods, exercise my body, imbibe meds advertised on TV, but the inevitable occurs.
It might be the name of a person known for years, or the name of an author, a book, a song, a favorite band, a particular word. The name is on the tip of my tongue, but I do not quite have it…I know it…wait…it’s here…I know I know it…the name is…and sometimes retrieve it in a few minutes. Other times, hours later or the next day or the following week – Eureka! – the information suddenly materializes.
I guess it is better unearthed eventually than never.
Meanwhile…My CRS will get worse over time.
I make lists so I do not forget to buy milk and whatever else is needed at the grocery store, pick up the dry cleaning, and buy a birthday gift.
Unfortunately I misplace the list, buy milk but not the eggs or bread, forget about the dry cleaning, and buy the birthday gift on the way to the party.
When I cannot remember the name of that band or old TV show, I search Google. The Internet came along just in time, an effective and valuable tool comprising the new look of geezerhood in the 21st century.
Thank you, Al Gore.
Leave a Reply