I Am a World-class Procrastinator

I have learned many skills over the years, a lot useful, others not so much, and many forgotten. For instance my ability to solve math equations and speak a foreign language disappeared. Those particular brain cells are dormant, and resurrecting them a chore more difficult than I wish to tackle. 

One skill often used and fine-tuned over the years is procrastination. I am a top-notch procrastinator. 

Six skills that enhance my procrastination proficiency: 

Procrastibaking – the art of postponing undesirable tasks by cooking and baking. I prepare dishes that take time to prepare and squander a lot of time searching pantry shelves for ingredients.

Hide and Seek –  I carefully put away items used but not needed immediately, then, when wanted, spend an exorbitant amount of time searching for the previously hidden things, not purposely hidden, simply placed in a safe place until required again. But I forget where that safe place might be, so I search…and search…and time goes by.

Treasure Hunt – a variant of hide and seek. I want something not used or seen for weeks, maybe months, and occasionally years. Where is that item now that I want it? In a box in the garage? In a closet, deep inside a box or in a dark back corner on the floor? Or did I, in one of my de-cluttering binges, give it away? Will I ever see it again? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But a lot of frustrating time is frittered away hunting…

Snoozing – I was an excellent sleeper in my younger years, quick to fall asleep and slumber for hours uninterrupted. Then time took its toll, and nowadays the bladder kicks in once each night, and if too much caffeine is imbibed the evening before, sleep does not come quickly. Occasionally I stay up late – for me, maybe midnight – binge-watching a show that turns out to be not worth the lost sleep. The following day exhaustion overcomes me. I plan a nap, set my alarm, then when the alarm goes off turn it off, turn over, and continue to snooze.

Puzzlemania – I  have become addicted to online puzzles. Completed in a minute or two or over a much, much, much longer period of time, depending on the puzzle and difficulty, the minutes slide by.

Scrolling – browsing, skimming, scanning – my online unproductive time overwhelms my desire to get on with more productive pursuits. I don’t realize how much time has passed as I review emails, skim Facebook, scan news headlines…

Is there a cure? Do I want to be cured? I should spend more time on worthwhile activities but my mind resists, especially when something I don’t want to do has to be done. 

Perhaps I am too old to change. Maybe I should give in and simply indulge my procrastination addiction. After all, there are worse addictions.